Sadness and Despair

Usually the weather doesn’t affect me so much, but these constantly grey days have me definitely under the weather. Maybe it is the prolonged illness that I can’t quite shake. I just have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and sadness. Ack!

It’s been four days since taking a shower. People are lucky I brush my teeth, that’s all I have to say. I never mention work prospects anymore, because nothing ever comes of it one way or the other. I get really excited, and then sad, after I find a really cool job but it does not materialize. Sad.

I guess today will be shower day. At some point, maybe. Need to shave and clean myself up. Maybe it will help. I have been working in Mae’s basement, but this week have not felt up to really getting anything done, and have been slacking as much as possible.

Have been wearing the same jeans over and over again, they are just about to fall apart on me. Every time I put them on, they fall apart a little more. Kinda feels like my life right now.

Things to look forward to. Sunshine would be nice. Bi-hosting a Mustache party with my friend Tracy. If we get ten people that will be good. Apparently people around here don’t throw a lot of parties, and when they do, they don’t know how to have a good time. I am trying to change that a bit. Hence the “mustache party”. This was an idea from my other friend Tracy, and it was a LOT of fun. One of the best theme parties I have been to. Time to spread the creativity and love.

Kinda in the mood to paint lately. It’s been weird. But not having all my supplies at hand, makes it hard. Not having everything in one spot, is making my creativity flounder. Need to paint, I think.

Blah, I just feel like BLAH right now!!!

Going to get some coffee. Maybe that will help. Maybe it won’t. It didn’t yesterday.

On another note, my blog has been read almost 1,000 times. That is pretty crazy to me, that ANYONE reads it at all. The other crazy thing is, when I blogged on MySpace, I had 30,000 hits. It’s a strange strange world, that doesn’t make ANY sense.



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